The story of a journey

Ultimately this is the story of a journey.  The journey from devastation, loss, and grief, to peace and success.  Most of us have the mindset that being an employee is the way to security and climbing the ladder of success will bring us happiness.  Although that didn't work so well for me, I truly hope it works out differently for you.  I spend a good amount of time each day wondering where I will end up and what will define my success in the future.  My success was so rooted in the climb of the corporate ladder that I never let myself contemplate anything different.  I assumed life was stable and predictable.  I should have known.  I would have known if I had my eyes open.  I hope that reading this blog will open your eyes.  Not to the frightening end of being laid off a job, but the idea that your job does not define you and you cannot plan on being employed at the same place at the same salary forever.  Have a back up plan.  I wish I would have saved more money and spent less on the trappings of clothes and jewelry and such.  I wish I had invested in something of worth so this transition would not be so scary.  But I did not save any.  In fact I spent more than I was earning and we just recently began to focus on reducing our overall debt.  I just did not think this would happen to me. 
I think I have found peace in the decision to "free-fall".  I have weighed many, many factors, including my happiness and serenity.  I still plan to pursue something that is dependent more on my own hard work and less on the ability of a big company to write a sensible budget that includes me in the line items each year.  I am happy with the overall decision to embark on a new adventure but also a little scared, not knowing how the story will end, or even having the final plan developed.
I had my first disappointment today.  It was interesting.  I applied to be a writer for a website.  I thought it was a no-brainer.  Of course they would accept me.  I must admit that I did not put 200% into that application process, and guess what?  It took them barely 24 hours to REJECT ME!  What was interesting is that I expected to be fully devastated by that first rejection, but I think I am growing up.  I stepped back from that rejection and thought:  what can I learn from this?  So I learned to be more patient and put forth more effort in the future.  I will keep trying and I am pretty sure this will not be the last rejection in my new pursuits. 
I had another moment of gratitude today when I learned of 3 close family/friends who are currently suffering greatly with depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, personal loss, and self-doubt..... and they all HAVE JOBS!
I am blessed with the people around me who love me and hold me in high esteem (even when I do not), and who need my shoulder to cry on when things are tough.  I am no longer weak and devastated.  I feel more "whole" than I did even before the news of lay off.  I have grown a bit on this journey already.  A week ago, Sunday evening, I was dreading going back to work on Monday am, but I am not dreading tomorrow.  It is just another day in my journey.....