I am consumed with anger this weekend. Depression doesn't even begin to describe these emotions. I am mad as hell at the people that caused me this pain. I have thrown myself into physical work today, hoping to get some relief but it isn't coming. I don't think I have ever felt quite so victimized, helpless, and afraid.
I am chewing myself up. My stomach actually hurts today. I have to go to work tomorrow and act as if I don't have all this bottled up.
It is a beautiful November day today. My husband thinks I ought to go for a motorcycle ride. He is out enjoying his ride. I am afraid to ride. I am afraid I will take risks that I should not. I don't know if I can focus adequately or even be safe out there in this state of mind and even that makes me mad. So now not only has my job been taken from me, my joy has been compromised as well.
It sure would be nice to hear from anyone else that has experienced this. Please post a comment if you have any words of wisdom or have lived successfully through this. I try to think that all will work out better in the end but I am not sure if I believe that today.
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