Anger, Pride, and Power

There are certain human conditions, emotions, and realities that we are not supposed to have, feel, or experience. For women, this societal restriction is even greater. As I spend much of my day running a gamut of emotions, I am beginning to wonder why some are taboo.
A woman who is angry, even if justified, will be labeled a bitch. Women are supposed to be unflappable and never show their anger. On the other hand a man can have an angry outburst and be forgiven, accepted, and remain unlabeled. This puts a strain on women and puts us at risk for health problems and a variety of societal repercussions. I would like to assert that a little anger is a normal human reaction. We should feel it when we are wronged. We should feel it when others are wronged. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. How we handle that emotion is what makes it wrong. Denial of our anger will cause us to continue to let others "wrong us". Denial of a basic human protective emotion such as anger will cause your body to turn against itself. I think that is what I have been referring to as "the pit in the bottom of my stomach". That "pit" stayed with me for the first entire week of this experience and it comes and goes now. I can't eat while I have that "pit" and I wake in the middle of the night with that "pit" sometimes. The only way to rid myself of it is to admit what I am angry about. To identify a target for my anger is healthy, for I am beginning to see anger as a self-protection mechanism. When I don't allow myself to feel it, it turns into a form of self-loathing and shame. I turn the anger inwards and take the blame for the hurt upon myself. That is not healthy nor productive and will lead me to repeat the same situation over again. You know the old adage: "The definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results". If a snake bit you once, would you continue to put your hand near it's mouth? I hope not.
Which brings me to pride. One of the definitions of pride according to our friends at Wikipedia is: the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection. So when used in a positive sense, it reflects the level of one's self-esteem. We hear about women with "self-esteem" issues and wonder why women let life kick them over and over again, while at the same time, associate another societal taboo to "pride". The opposite of pride is humility. Women, especially, are told to remain "humble". So one is good and the other bad, right? NO. Without a measure of pride in myself, I would have stayed with the first two destructive marriages. Without feeling some pride in my accomplishments, I would not have looked to succeed further. Without a little bit of pride, I would accept any crumb thrown at me, when I am capable of more! So can pride be a bad thing? Yes. In excess, pride can be destructive, we know that. It can cloud our view of the world and actually prevent us from taking the steps we need to in order to succeed. But I will keep some of my pride and self-worth and not settle for something I will not be happy doing, so don't tell me not to think with my pride.
Power. The last "dirty" word I will write about today. The word is rarely used but is vitally important. Women, especially, are made to feel like they shouldn't use their "power", for fear of misuse of their power. In a position of authority, power is a dirty word. But we all have power. If not power given to us formally in a position of authority (which I might add, even applies to anyone who is a parent, and not just reserved for executives), then we all have at least personal power. We all have influence over others in some form.  It is not that we have the power to influence, but HOW we use that power to influence others.  Do you use your power to influence others in a positive way or to cause others to behave in a negative way?  Embrace your personal power and use it to help others.  If you cannot see how to help others, then at least use your power to influence yourself.  The most power you have is over yourself, your emotions, your behaviors, and most of all, your destiny.
So I will let anger help me avoid future mistakes and dangers and use pride to keep my head held high and leave a company in better shape than I found it.  Most of all I will use my personal power to do good for others and keep myself on the right track emotionally.