It seemed like a nightmare

I thought I was having a nightmare.  I could hardly breathe.  I was as composed as I could be, while learning that my position was eliminated, but tears were streaming down my face.  In true "company management" form, my first thought was "who will do the work I am doing?"  I was faced with the realization that I had let my job, my position, define my self-worth.  I drove home from that meeting in a fog and completely devastated.  I am fortunate that my husband is a supportive man and I told him as soon as I could.  - Misery loves company - .  I had to share the burden of this news.  Once at home I was in a total state of shock and disbelief.  How could this be happening to me?  What were they thinking?  Why was I not good enough?  Maybe it was just a dream!  Surely NOT ME!  Telling the kids that night was difficult.  One daughter just started college and moved home so that we could help with tuition and expenses.  She sobbed and cried with me, as she had visions of her dreams swirling down the toilet along with mine.  She was sure that we would be homeless and she would be abandoned.  While I was still in shock and disbelief, I had to force myself to promise her something that I did not feel at all:  We would all be fine!  The little one is only 9 years old and she was oblivious to worry in this situation.  Her needs had always been met in some magical way and she was pretty sure they would continue to be met somehow.  She patted me several times as tears would come and go that evening.  She certainly knew we were sad and maybe scared but I was glad that at least she was insulated from that. 
I needed time to grieve.  I needed time to process.  I needed someone to reassure me that I still had value.
How I made it through that evening I do not know, but I did, with the help of people who loved me.  I thank God for those people every day!  I remember laying down to sleep that night and thinking "when I wake up tomorrow, this will be gone... a dream..."