I heard the news on a Wednesday at 4pm. That was 8 days ago. I was lucky enough to be offered to stay in my position until January. Additional income and time to adjust and figure out what I wanted to do now with the rest of my life. I was allowed to stay home on Thursday and Friday to grieve so I could return to work on Monday. Of course while I was gone at home with a pit in my stomach, the survivors at my place of employment were told about the plight of the rest of us. You can imagine the weekend I had, telling the rest of my family, spending countless hours feeling sorry for myself, doubting myself, fear of the unknown like you can't imagine! I had never even seriously considering leaving this company I loved. It was where I wanted to retire. To be honest, when they told me I didn't have a place there, I was tempted to BEG for a spot. I was considering anything and everything as an alternative to leaving.
I returned to work Monday with a pit in my stomach that I can't even describe. It hurt like hell to walk back in the doors and return to the office that I had spent some much of the last 12 years in. Everything I looked at seemed to elicit an emotional response in me. Emotions including sadness, jealousy, confusion, self-loathing, anger, depression, fear, and relief flooded my conscientiousness moment to moment.
Please return to read more of my blog if you know someone going through this experience or are going through it yourself. I hope that we can share so that we can have hope for the future. Post responses if you have coping tips as we take this journey to recovery together.
No comments:
Post a Comment