Returning to work out the remainder of my three months of job was a difficult thing to do on Monday morning. A large part of me wishes to never set foot through the doors of the company that is now the cause of such pain for me, but big girls have to suck it up and do what is right for their family and what is right for others around us. On Monday, I returned to my office determined not to show the negative emotions to anyone. How long do you think that worked? Well, really, until about noon. Of course, a secret such as WHO WERE the 18 people that were layed off cannot be kept in any company. Communication had occurred to the masses and the rumor mill had become active and accurate for the most part. Being the only member of management in the 18 gave me a bit of a high profile as well, and it has been interesting to see the way people have reacted to me this week. I chose to tell some of them that did not know, figuring that they should find out from me and not the rumor mill. I got lots of hugs and "I'm sorries", which I might add is the most appropriate response from others. The reaction that has humored me most is what I call the "pity look". That is the look that people give you because they know you have just had a devastating experience and they don't know what to say to you. Sometimes it is accompanied by a "pity pat". That is the tender patting of your shoulder or arm in conjunction with the "pity look". Other people couldn't wait to find me alone and pump me for information, obviously hoping to get some "dirt" while I was a bit clouded with anger. Others that I thought were caring friends actually avoid me. It was a good friend that caused me to crack at noon that first day. I thank the Lord that it was lunch time and when I broke down sobbing in her office, she had the good sense to whisk me off to lunch. When you are grievng it is difficult to take care of yourself and it had not even occurred to me that I would need to eat at some point during that day, but a good friend will take care of you and not let you embarrass yourself.
Here are some things that a person in my situation may need from you:
Be sincerely sorry that they are grieving and tell them you care for them
Offer to listen if they need to talk but realize we are pretty self-absorbed with our own pain and are not the best company.
Don't further betray their trust by talking to others about their pain.
Tell them about their really wonderful qualities, they feel thrown away like an old pair of shoes.
Offer some supportive words of encouragement, which might be based on faith, depending on the person.
Offer some networking if you can. They are unsure of our future and scared to death that there is no place for them ever again.
Offer to take them to lunch with you.
I also feel badly for the people left in the company when a layoff occurs because everyone seems to be walking around in a state fear, pain, or confusion to some degree. I have seen others of the 18 break down in their offices or in the halls. People are scrambling for ways to feel secure again. I get the feeling they would just like to ignore the victims of the layoff so they are not so confronted with their own insecurities and fears. I don't blame them. This is a scary time.
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